What I’ve Been Up To: A March Update 1 Year Later

I’m sorry. Really, I am. It’s been over a year since I last updated. I’ve started countless blog posts and then have proceeded to save them as drafts, only to never publish them. In fact, on New Years, I had written a beautiful post on what movies I’d seen last year and which ones I thought were the best. Then, even more recently, I started a review on the movie In the Heart of the Sea and I have since lost all steam for that because I can’t even remember the points I had for it! That’s a good movie, by the way. It’s got Thor, Spiderman and even Nick Clark from Fear the Walking Dead. Oh, and Cillian Murphy.

You, Reader, (who probably is just me a year from now wondering what I was up to), are probably curious about my whereabouts. Well…I’m still working at Jo-Ann’s. Whoop-de-do! Still a college drop-out! Yay! Still upset that I spent all that money and practically had a few weeks until I got my BA in History, only to…not. Hurray!

I think my biggest reason for not posting was the fact that I’m really embarrassed. And, to be honest, I hate myself. I hate myself so much and every day I have to live with myself knowing that I was so close to being done with school. For some reason, I thought it would be better for my mental well-being to take a “break”.

Well, I have news for you. It sucks. It sucks a lot. I have the education, practically, but I’m a cashier at a fabric store. And, that’s not to say that people who don’t go to college at all and work in retail are stupid. No! In fact, they’re the opposite! They have a shitty job, but they’re smart. They have people skills and they know what the real world is like. I’m just saying that it sucks because I sabotaged my own life. I wanted to do something history related, but I use none of my skills at my job. I think the closest I come to using them is if I decide to take up a new craft and research it. That’s it though. And it’s not where I want to be.

But what have I done since I last posted? Well…

I saw Catfish and the Bottlemen for the second time. My friend from work came and it was really fun. The crowd that goes to their shows is always pretty chill. That and I could die while listening to them and be happy.

 

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A little blurry, but you can make Van out in the middle!

 

I did write a  post about the first time I saw them live I got to meet them. You can find it HERE, but for a brief rundown: I actually did really well and played it pretty cool. I think they thought my friend who won the meet-and-greet-passes was the fan and that I was just tagging along. She is a fan, but I was the one who loved them. Van was also super sweet and told us he hoped we enjoyed the show. I swooned you guys. Actually SWOONED. And then we got a picture with them and his arm was around me?! That was one of my top 5 life experiences because right now I think it’s safe to assume that they’re my favorite band. I listen to them at least once a day. I still adore Twenty On Pilots, but I think CATB tops them on my list.

I got a tattoo. I’m not sure if it was myself rebelling against the fact that I don’t make much money at all, or what, but yeah. That happened.

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My same friend from work helped me design it, and then the lady at the tattoo place added some cool white ink to it. It’s a Three Musketeers themed tattoo, with a fourth sword for my favorite little shit, D’Artagnan. It’s really pretty and every day I get to see it and smile at it. Sometimes I do worry I was a little impulsive about the subject matter, and sometimes I’m sad I didn’t do my original first tattoo idea (little paratroopers down my wrist, but I still have the other wrist!), but at the end of the day it’s there and I’m happy. It’s just something I can always count on. I did get a weird nightmare the second night I had it where I somehow didn’t do the right stuff to take care of it and it was infected, and that one day I woke up and it was just…gone? But that was just a nightmare.

In June I got a little TOO into Fear the Walking Dead. It kind of consumes me. I stumbled upon these surprise keychain packages at Target. I bought a few because it comes with a keychain and a sticker and says “collect them all” and you can bet your ass that one day I will collect them all. I have  1 Nick and 2 Strand’s so far. I got the same Nick keychain (it’s like a picture of season 1 drugged out Nick) and gave the second to Cassie. I told her they were our Druggie Nick Friendship keychains. Every once and a while she mentions that she found her keychain again and it makes me smile because I know she hated that show when I made her try it.

I also went to the Indycar race at Road America again. Races are a really strange experience altogether, but I love them anyway. Even if they’re really loud and smell like gas. You kind of grow to love them. When we were driving in, I saw Josef Newgarden on a scooter. I screamed “Oh my god” and he turned in my direction, but whatever. Leave it to Sara to embarrass herself. I don’t think he saw me. At least, I hope not. I later learned that there was an autograph session at that time and he must have been heading there. I missed another autograph session with him! That’s like the 3rd one! #whenwillsaragetjosefnewgardensautograph?

In September Kingsman 2 came out and I just about died. I saw it twice in theaters ( I would have more but I only had time for 2x), and for Christmas, my brother got me the blu-ray. It was this cool special edition with whiskey stones. I’ll have to use them next time I watch it! Y’all know that movie makes me want a drink because of the majority of it. I also saw Call Me By Your Name and that movie consumed my soul more than FTWD did. I got the blu-ray and watched it the day it came out on blu-ray. I really want to watch it and do a post on it because recently someone brought to my attention that Elio kind of alludes to being an unreliable narrator. I won’t mention what scene, just because this post is spoiler free (ha!). I think this is extremely interesting and I want to go back and watch it looking for other spots. The soundtrack is also really amazing. It’s got this weird dreamlike quality to it, much like the film does. It’s great for listening to when you’re trying to fall asleep. I bought these headphones called CozyPhones and they’re basically headphones in a headband and they’re comfortable for sleeping with them on. They’re great for insomniacs really. They can be a little quiet, but that’s kind of what I was going for.

More recently, I’ve been really into Anne of Green Gables. I watched almost all of Sullivan’s adaptions and have watched all of Anne With An E. I want both on dvd. I think I really would drop $200 for the special edition of the 80’s versions on blu-ray. I cannot bring myself to watch the PBS version from 2016. It just…Anne’s hair looks fake and even in the trailers for it, you can see that her freckles are painted on? I also heard that they really played down Gilbert’s part, and that hurts my heart. That little punk turned out to be a lovely man.

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it’s yellow, my favorite color!

I really think Amybeth McNulty is really truly Anne, although Megan Follows is the original Anne. But if we’re being technical, McNulty looks more like what I picture Anne to look like from the description in the book. I bought that pretty yellow leatherbound copy of the book from B&N. I started it the other day, but haven’t finished yet. Part of me wants to take my time, the other part of me is like “Sara, you’re 24 and you haven’t read Anne of Green Gables. What the fuck are you doing?” I plan to write some more about Anne, the books, and the various adaptions. Maybe I will watch the PBS version for you guys? I don’t know! There’s also a new adaption of Little Women set to air in April or May on PBS that I’ve been dying to see. I remember reading that in 3rd grade. I should really reread it because it’s been so long. I also need to rewatch the Winona Ryder version.

I rewatched Four Brothers the other day and now I’m having Jack Mercer feelings, so that’s never good. I just have a lot of love for him as a character and for that story. I was paying close attention to his aversion to violence, and I really want that character study essay. Guys where is it? I would totally read it! I guess I’ll have to write it! I’m going to rewatch it again sometime this week because it’s just…eating at me? This happens sometimes. It’s kind of happening with Murder on the Orient Express too! That was a good movie, even if there were some unnecessary changes, but I really enjoyed the fact that Bouc was likable. And hot. The soundtrack and scenery for that movie were breathtaking, too. So, again, I’ll have to rewatch it.

Enough rambling! There’s so much more I want to say, and I hope I get enough momentum to say it. I have a lot of new music I want to talk about it. More books and movies! Youtubers! Podcasts! History! Oh, I’ve missed you guys so much! I bought a new computer a few weeks ago and I’m totally in love with it, so hopefully, that’s enough reason to write more. Hopefully! I’m so sorry I neglected this blog for a year. It was awful and I should be punished for it.

I hope you’re all well and I hope you stick around! See ya next time!

Essay Topics and Rambles

I feel bad. I haven’t written a blog in over a week. I’ve mostly been too depressed to write anything. I’m not sure what brought that on, but I’ve been really stressed and anxious, so I have a feeling that just triggered it. Anyway, I’m mostly writing to apologize because my shitty blog is now even shittier because lack of blogs.

Anyway, I have to come up with topics for three different essays, and its agonizing! And when I say agonizing, I mean, AGGGGONNNNIIIIZZZZINNNG! AHHH! I’ve been really stressed about that for the whole 3 weeks I’ve been here. Well, I mean, this is the 3rd week, but it feels like the 30th or something. There’s only 10 weeks in a term really, so that’s a slight (only slight) overreaction. Anyway, I need 3 different topic ideas, and it’s not going so well. My first topic was for an essay proposal (which sounds harder than a regular essay because that’s all I know). It has to relate to the American Revolution, since that’s what the class is about. I want to talk about Washington’s spies. However, I need to narrow it down. Not only is there too much to narrow it down, but there’s not even enough resources about it! I mean, for my Alvin Clark Project, I managed to pull resources out of nothing. I have no idea how I was able to find all of that stuff! But I did, so I am willing to take the risk. However, that still doesn’t narrow the topic down! I really want to talk about Benjamin Tallmadge (leader of the Washington’s spy ring in case you don’t know or don’t watch Turn). However, there’s nothing on him! I mean, books about spies, but him particularly? Nope! So then I was like, well wouldn’t it be interesting to look at how Nathan Hale’s mission went so wrong he was executed? I might change my topic to that, since I know there are resources on that. It would be one thing if this were HIgh School, and I could use the regular old internet, but nope. Because I’m a History Major I need to use all the fancy resources like JStore, or all the other academic resources. Which, I mean, yeah, that usually works better than google, too be honest. Sometimes. Okay, many was the wrong word…

The second topic is for my Intro to the Art Museum class. As you guys know, Museums are my jam and it’s my dream to work (LIVE) in a museum. This class is okay. I mean, I like it because all we do is talk about Museums. However, I don’t really like the articles we’re reading. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m so stressed and depressed, but I don’t like them. Anyway, I need to make an Exhibit Proposal. I was so excited about it at first. BUT you need an exhibit catalog. She said it’s required. This isn’t good since I’m not doing an Art Exhibit specifically. I mean, art’s great, but history is my jam! I personally want to look at the Titanic Exhibit, you know the one that traveled around? I went to it twice because Shipwrecks are my thing. So naturally, I still remember it and think it was one of the most amazing exhibits ever, so why not write about it? It’s going to be like a proposal for an exhibit, so I would research past Titanic exhibits and use them to frame my own. It actually is cool. Just not when you have no idea what the fuck you’re doing! So I need to work on that. The paragraph for our topic is due Thursday so I need to get on this. I’m embarrassed that I haven’t done anything, but I’ve been stressing so much over everyday homework and then the other project that I’ve kinda blanked on this one. Nice one, Sara.

The last one is a 30-40 page essay for my Historiography class. Um. Yeah. I’m totally fine with the length. I would be lying if I didn’t say I got excited about being able to write 30 pages on something of my choice (HELLO CHERNOBYL PAPER!), so I’m excited. But he literally is letting us choose anything! I hate it when they don’t give you at least some guidelines. I’m not creative enough to write my own topic. So, I was really surprised when today during Historiography, it clicked in my head. I want to write about the history of Disneyland! Then I remembered I have a book about it! But when I checked it just now, it actually was about Disney World. So I wonder if maybe it could just be about Disney Theme Parks in America? I don’t know. I’ll talk to my friends and get their opinion.

Also, yesterday was frustrating in the collections. The other groups have taken it upon themselves to label the objects before entering them into the computer. It sounds reasonable, except, we assumed they were all on the computer since they had a number on them. Nope. Many of the objects weren’t entered. We were trying to package the items, and some were already wrapped and we had to unwrap them and enter them in. It was stupid, too be honest. The other girl talked to the Professor in charge and he agreed and is probably gonna talk to the other students. Hopefully they don’t do it again. They’re gonna have to fix the problem anyway, because we gave up when we had 10 minutes left. The other girl had an essay to edit or something and I wasn’t gonna deal with it alone. So, I mean, we got a lot done yesterday, but it was still a pretty annoying day.

So, yeah. There’s an update on my life that you probably didn’t even read all the way. Hope you guys have had a good Monday and Tuesday. I haven’t quite, but it’s feeling like fall outside and Fall is my favorite season. Also, my birthday is coming up in a little less than a month. And on the 30th of October I get to see Twenty One Pilots in concert, and maybe my hero Sarah Vowell on Halloween. I’m not sure. Her new book is about Lafayette which is really topical to my American Revolution class, so I’m extra excited! ALSO HALLOWEEN! My favorite holiday! Sadly my ghost lights are broken. A month before Halloween too. Which, also means I can probably find them again. I don’t know. I got them my freshman year in early October from Wal-Mart. So we’ll see.

Seeya later Bros!